In an effort to practice release, earlier this week I cleared out my beloved bookshelf, preparing to give it away, along with some other precious items. While pulling out books from the shelves, out fell a blue enveloped sealed, signed, and addressed to me...from me.
Out of curiosity I tore it open and read the first line of the card:Dear Joy, Congratulations on landing your dream job at Pinterest!
I read on, and smiled at each line that celebrated my victory. See, about 3 years ago, I made it through 6 rounds of interviews with my dream company (at the time). In an effort to activate my faith and script what I wanted, I wrote a letter (ahead of the job offer), that I would open when it was time to celebrate. Fast forward after several weeks of interviewing, I sobbed uncontrollably when I learned the role I was so convinced would be mine, went instead to another candidate.
As I stood next to my bookshelf reading the card from my past self, I felt a huge sigh of relief and recovered joy (pun intended). I thought back to the Joy who sat on her bed and let out tear-filled sighs when she got the rejection email. At the time, my thought was "if not this, then what?" What could I possibly do that could compare to the assumed joy of working at Pinterest!? I imagined myself at the company so much, that I wondered who I would be in light of this rejection. Securing this job was the epitome of success.
Have you ever mourned a story of life you never got to experience?
Perhaps it was a similar situation with a job rejection. Maybe it was a relationship ending, or your own version of success slipping through your fingers. It all hurts, and can feel so debilitating because the identity we've chosen to adopt becomes threatened by this "loss".
But what if losses could add to our identity instead of challenging or diminishing parts of it?
We often believe the things that we "lost" or didn't get takes away from who we could be. But, consider for a moment that those losses [experiences, people, spaces], could instead add to who we are right now...and, have given us a unique opportunity to become more aligned, and positioned to thrive better.
Fast forward 3 years after the recruiter at Pinterest sent me that rejection letter, doors opened for me in other spaces. I'm thriving. And the weight of that rejection built me up in resilience, in formidability, and in ambition.
The loss of this "dream" job, led me close to this joy.
So, if you've had to release something, it's okay to mourn the version of you that you so desperately wanted to meet. But know that the loss is a building block, and the absence of that thing can create opportunities for finding wholeness.
