Joy Ubani

"Say 'No' to the things holding you back." [curlBOX] 

I love the start of new months! (too excited?...lol.) For me, new months are the start of new beginnings, and a new chance to evaluate the things going on in my life. (and most importantly, by this time of the season, I've fully embraced the cold weather, and colorful leaves!). After spending the past few months considering my talents and trying to gain a clearer understanding of my goals and dreams, I had to really think about what was holding me back from chasing my dreams and reaching my goals in the first place.

As a 20something-year-old recent college graduate, I've come to discover that I spend the better part of my day catching up with old friends...on social media that is. It has become so easy for me to compare myself with the next 20something-year-old or recent graduate instead of focusing on my own goals. When I see that Susie has succeeded at this, or Mike has failed at that, I became so consumed by the 'what ifs' and the "buts" that I single-handedly created my own obstacles.

1. Social Networks: FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, (my blog..tehe), are all great platforms that we use to stay connected, stay informed, and stay trendy. But overuse of these networks can also serve as huge distractions. If you are constantly scrolling through your timeline and updating your status, it might be time to find another way to connect with friends and let people know how you're doing. I had to be a little proactive and set up coffee dates with old friends, and get out there to network and attend events.Comparing your life to the seemingly glamorous lifestyles of old friends, roommates or colleagues might cause you to lose sight of your own goals.
2. Lack of a Support System: take a look at the friends you keep-- if they are not supporting you with prayers, advise, or motivation, it might be time to re-evaluate these friendships. One of the keys to success is surrounding yourself with people who not only have drive and ambition, but also inspire and encourage others to be dreamers and doers.
   
3. False Beliefs: "It's too late", "I can't do it", or "I don't know how." These beliefs can easily cause you to give up on everything you've been striving for. It's easy to let these ideas sneak up on us and distract us. I've found myself believing that "it's too late" to do some of the things I've planned. But let's be real, I'm only in my 20s! That brings me back to number 2-- the importance of meaningful relationships; people who will encourage and inspire you to be great and not allow those beliefs into your head. But most importantly, good self confidence will combat these lies just as quickly.
4. Lost in a Daze: I've been lost on this road a few times...focusing so intently on the future that your dreams remain just that--dreams. They never turn into goals, and you never wake up to begin chasing them. Don't get lost here. Once you have a goal create structure for yourself to make sure you reach it. Create a timeline or a daily schedule that will help you work towards your goal and get you out of this Daze and into action.
5. [Stuck in] Transition: We all go through these awkward transitional phases. As a recent college graduate or a 20something-year-old, we might find ourselves between jobs, living as a nomad, or financially unstable trying to save money for our next big step. This is okay. Great, in fact! This shows that you're making progress and taking steps to reach your goal. The tricky think about this is that it can definitely become a distraction if you're not careful. Make sure you don't get comfortable or "used to" this transition, forgetting all about your goals.