You have to be aggressive. These words that my mother spoke to me days ago rang in my head until they finally struck a chord.
If you're hitting some turbulence right now be aggressive in getting through it. Hearing my mother tell me: "the deeper you allow your circumstance to consume you, the harder it will be rise. You have to be aggressive." was an awakening for me.
Many times we get discouraged, distracted, and fall deeper into our circumstance and we miss the fact that while the victory is already won, it is completely up to us to be aggressive and step into what God has for us.
ag·gres·sive
adjective
pursuing one's aims and interests forcefully, sometimes unduly so.
- Pray (without ceasing): Position yourself in such a posture that allows you to speak to God and hear from Him. Maybe for you, this is stepping away from distractions (like social media or certain friendships/relationships).
- Seek God: Immerse yourself in His word and in worship. You'll find that He speaks to you in this way. Learn more about who He is -- His character, His ways, and what He's already done.
- Surround yourself with a community of believers: Find people who are eager to pour into you, and who are able to guide you in your journey.
You have to realize that more aggression equals less fear. When aggression meets purpose you'll find that you can't easily be defeated. You'll have a desire to constantly push harder until something great happens. Imagine how unstoppable you'd be if you never took no for an answer, ignored nay-sayers, and consistently pressed forward in His presence? Whooo! Praise break, praise break!
As my friends and I like to say: no excuses -- just results! ;)
"...you should simply keep on doing what you've done from the beginning...Keep it up. Better yet, redouble your efforts. Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God's energy, an energy deep within you, God Himself willing and working at what will give Him the most pleasure." - Philippians 2:13
Photography by Tiffany Jewels
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Hey, loves!
I've been MIA for a little as I try to recoup from some of the curveballs this season has thrown at me...(otherwise infamously known as the "quarter-life crisis" (QLC)). This is something I've always heard about, but never thought I'd experience myself. I like to think of myself as someone who is driven, in control, and has high expectations. I've always been quite in touch with myself, confident in who I am (and who God says I am), and focused on my goals. Ironically enough, these are the types of people the QLC comes after the hardest. And honestly, it can feel debilitating.
I wanted to share some of the lessons I've learned in my experience. Maybe you're a twenty-something trying to navigate through QLC, depression, or anxiety. Or maybe you're just in an uncomfortable situation. (Read more about what to do in discomfort here).
4 Tips on Getting Through the Quarter-Life Crisis
- Actions speak louder than
wordsthoughts: In this season your thoughts can become completely distorted...going against everything you've ever believed about yourself. I had a conversation with my dear older sister recently where we tried to figure out how to combat negative thoughts (aside from obvious affirmations). Sometimes this is easier said than done. So what I've tried to do is change my actions so that my thoughts become aligned with whatever behavior I'm engaged. (Rather than allowing my thoughts to influence my behavior). For example, if I'm feeling visionless I'll intentionally pull out my vision board, turn on my laptop, and begin actively working towards my goals. If I'm feeling doubtful of who God says I am, I'll pick up the phone and speak to someone who affirms me/reminds me of my beautiful ideal self. (I'll talk more about this in another bullet point).
- Think like Christ, so you can believe like Christ: Okay we're back to thoughts. This is where positive affirmations come into play as well as great expectations. You have to make a conscious effort to see yourself as Christ sees you and to see your future as Christ sees it. (He promises to give us an expected end and He plans to prosper us...God is not tryna play us). As soon as that negative thought creeps in, reject it and renew your mind instead with what Christ tells you. I always find comfort in knowing that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. But we still need to make that effort to meet him there. I found these verses extremely helpful in renewing my thoughts daily.
- Surround yourself with people who live a life that reflects your aspirations and (Godly) expectations: This is what I meant by having friends you can call and speak to when you're at your lowest points. Find someone you trust and pray with them often. Read scripture with them and share with them. Get a mentor who can teach you, pour into you, and reaffirm your purpose and your identity in Christ. Sometimes it's just a matter of hearing who God says you are that can build you up.
- Speak Out: Talk about your experiences and get to the root of the problem so you can get rid of it. Mental health matters but I know not everyone has access to mental health practitioners/Christain therapists. If you fall into this category, again, find some you trust and speak out. Journaling is also a great way of speaking out and releasing thoughts.
As cliche as this sounds, I am fully expectant that this season of my life will turn into a glorious and victorious testimony. At times I do feel discouraged, but I'm grateful for the community I'm surrounded by and the people who intercede on my behalf. Have faith, no matter how discouraged you feel. Cherish this with me: He who promises is faithful, and it will come to pass. (1 Thessalonians 5:24).
Photography by: Melissa C. Olguin
Over the past several years my prayer has always been that God should use my life as a testimony. I prayed this fervently, having no idea that it would mean that I'd be stretched and pulled into discomfort and transformed completely.
I'd be lying if I said I knew I would joyfully and gracefully enter into 26. Towards the end of last year I felt lifeless and my vision stifled. Moving back home after spending 2 years in a different country completely shifted my perspective especially as many of my relationships with friends, family, and a significant other left me broken and confused.
I'd be lying if I told you that I thought I'd be here today rejoicing, with a huge, goofy, and extremely joyful smile on my face [and in my heart] simply because I'm still here, my vision is clearer, and because I am alive and well. My experiences, friends, and family have watered me continuously until this very moment. And because of it all, I am now in full bloom.
I fully expect 26 to give me a testimony that is greater, with pains and gains that will elevate my position and glorify my God. I'm grateful for the pulling and the stretching. My scars are nothing if not reminders of my strength, courage, and wisdom. I've come this far and have no choice but to keep pressing forward until I reach the very sweet and perfect place that God has intended. I live for the sweet moments I hear Him whisper and tell me I am "almost there and doing just fine."
Photography by Melissa C. Olguin
This year has already given me a long list of lessons and it's only February.... A lesson that resonates with me in this very moment is the realization that I have what it takes. Meaning, I have what it takes to be successful, extraordinary, to feel, to heal, and lead a joyful life. We all have what it takes but sometimes fail to realize it. We're too busy internalizing what one person said to us ages ago; too focused on that lie we once heard saying we're "not good enough"; or too invested in following the lives of others on social media we forget that we are only competing with our own -ever evolving- selves.
Newsflash. You already have what it takes to live the kind of life that will give you the most joy (without the permission of external factors).
Here are 5 seamless steps to channel your inner bad a$$ and get in formation.
1. Love what can't change. Start by making a list of things you know you can't change (about yourself). Your flaws, your college degree, your siblings (tehe...but I actually love my siblings). Sometimes, it's worth accepting that not everything is in your control. Be realistic about what you can live with, and what you can live without.
2. Change what you don't love (but can change). In that same breath, if you're unhappy about your current circumstance, get ready to act. Get creative. Get serious. Seek help. Change your environment and speak out.
Remember, you are in control of your own happiness. Avoid allowing your circumstance to dictate your destiny.
**If the lines between 1 and 2 are blurred, here are examples of things you can and can't change: You can't change your boyfriend's personality...but you can change your boyfriend (lol).
3. Fight fear. I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I get scared absolutely silly when I think of my dreams. Unwelcome thoughts of rejection, failure, and embarrassment float into my head. I quickly (okay let's be real...I very s l o w l y) combat them with prayer, affirmations, and meditation on a stream of positive thoughts. Embrace rejection, failure, and the possibility of having embarrassing social encounters... but don't let the fear of doing so hinder your progress.
4. Don't go with the flow. Be the flow. (lol). But in all seriousness, you have what it takes to be in control. Rather than letting people or negative circumstances determine your emotions or your reactions, remind yourself that you are strong, capable, and in control.
5. Get up. Okay let's be real. Sometimes it takes everything to just get up (and out of bed). I know lately my mornings have been a struggle. Trust me, once you muster up the energy (and bravado) to just rise in the morning and place your feet on the ground, you're already halfway there and you've proven that you have what it takes (to rise).
Outfit Details:
Black Jacket: H&M (shop this look here)
Collared Button-up: Forever 21
Gold-rimmed Sunnies: Aldo
Lace up Oxfords: Nine West (shop this look here)
Photography by: Melissa C. Olguin, @melcolguin
When I was a 7 year old I had this annoying habit of putting on my best British accent around my family and friends and asking "would you like some tea?" I always dreamed of living in London and everyone around me knew it.
At age 10, my 5th grade teacher asked us to write down our future careers on our "About Me" poster. Of course I wrote down,"psychologist." (I found this poster in my garage a few months ago and laughed at how detailed this "About Me" poster was!)
Fast forward many years later. I was blessed with an opportunity which allowed me to live London for 2 years, and I currently (among many trades and jobs) work as a
therapist and counselor. (Praise Him!)
I've begun understand the power of words (especially when coupled with actions). I developed the habit of not only preparing to achieve my goals, but also proclaiming them and believing that they will come to fruition. At the start of this year (well 18 days ago lol) I started to apply the below methods once more and I wanted to share with you all in hopes that all of our visions and goals will manifest in due season.
I've begun understand the power of words (especially when coupled with actions). I developed the habit of not only preparing to achieve my goals, but also proclaiming them and believing that they will come to fruition. At the start of this year (well 18 days ago lol) I started to apply the below methods once more and I wanted to share with you all in hopes that all of our visions and goals will manifest in due season.
4 Ways to Successfully Achieve Your Goals
1. Declare it,
out loud. Speak your goals out to yourself, your friends and your
family. Repeat them verbally until you start to internalise it. Remember your words shape your thoughts which shape your behaviours, which shape your actions (which in turn, shape your achievements).
2. Write it (the vision). Always write your goals down in a place you can see it. Write in your journal (and also outline clear and practical steps), write on a white board or poster in your bedroom, write it on a small piece of paper and stick it in your wallet (I usually tape my note to my laptop or on my desk at work). Habakkuk 2:2
2. Write it (the vision). Always write your goals down in a place you can see it. Write in your journal (and also outline clear and practical steps), write on a white board or poster in your bedroom, write it on a small piece of paper and stick it in your wallet (I usually tape my note to my laptop or on my desk at work). Habakkuk 2:2
3. Prepare for it.
Create habits and routines that
will allow you to ease into your goal. This might be waking up early, getting organized/managing your time, writing and reading more, or loving and serving more. Make sure your method of preparation is intentional and realistic. Is your goal to travel this year? Start a savings plan. Is your goal to make a career switch? Set up informational interviews with people in your dream profession or take the necessary educational steps. You have to prepare for what you pray for, right?
4. Put a praise on it. Start already praising God for giving you the grace to pursue (and achieve) what He has so fervently placed on your heart. Rejoice and give thanks for the obstacles. failures, and
big (and small) victories along the way. Believe with all your heart that whatever you are asking of God will manifest (Mark 11:24).
Photos by: Melissa C. Olguin | @melcolguin
What I'm Wearing:
I brought in the year with this tulle skirt via Charlotte Russe via and a blush velvet dress, worn as a top ;) via H&M
Photos by: Melissa C. Olguin | @melcolguin
Have you noticed that whenever God is getting ready to pour out a blessing He puts you in such a position that feels like you're being shaken, pressed, and beaten? (Sound familiar?...ahem, Jesus...but that's a blog post for another day lol).
Right before a season of change you might have noticed that your environment shifts. You become uncomfortable, you might feel completely broken, you might feel a sense of defeat and maybe even hit rock bottom. Sometimes God positions us in the most uncomfortable way (mentally/emotionally/
(Wait. Let me just define position for y'all so you know).
a situation or set of circumstances, especially one that affects one's power to act
a particular way in which someone or something is placed or arranged.
I know I've been there many times. Well here's the thing: we have two options in this moment of discomfort.
- Stay down and give up. Don't let your brokenness position you for your blessing and allow yourself to be distracted by your discomfort. OR
- Rise, fight and prepare for a greater position.
(When I moved to London a few years ago, I stuck with option 1 for several months and almost missed out on all the opportunities God had waiting for me while abroad...simply because I spent so much time being miserable and in doubt).
I've chosen both options in my season of discouragement so I'll tell you this:
God's not done with you and He's waiting for you to choose option 2.
To be honest, sometimes we don't feel like rising. It's easier to stay down, stay under our comforter (in bed) and think about how uncomfortable we are. Rising is so much easier said than done. (In a next blog post I'll share 3 ways to rise from discomfort).
Don't be distracted by your discomfort! I promise you, you'll miss the blessings God has by holding on to a mentality of defeat. But when you begin to rise, amazing things start to happen. You start to find true joy, you'll love again, and you'll be awakened to pursue your passions with a fire you never had.
You may not see God working on your situation right away, but trust me, your story is already written and He's giving you an expected end. (But don't take my word for it: Jeremiah 29:11)
What I'm Wearing:
Patterned Dress: H&M
Lace Up Heels: River Island (London)
Photography by: Melissa C. Olguin
Patterned Dress: H&M
Lace Up Heels: River Island (London)
Photography by: Melissa C. Olguin
Over the last few weeks, I've become extremely intentional about finding joy unspeakable.
I've made out time for things like retail therapy, travelling across the country, brunch with friends, and simple girl's night (gathering with friends who make me laugh). And to be honest, I've felt happier (a short-term emotion).
I realize that joy unspeakable simply comes from spending quality time with the one who loves you the most, who gives you strength, provides for you, gives you hope, and yearns for you to cast your cares on him.
True joy is long lasting. It has no time constraints and it's a feeling you experience regardless of your circumstance.
I've been resting in God's love and practicing loving Him out loud. In spending quality time with Him, I've found that I'm consumed by joy unspeakable (in spite of any [good or bad] circumstance). The secret to finding this joy is realizing you are absolutely and truly loved, accepted, and valued by the One who created all.
Now let me be real...I did not just wake up one morning, smacked with this realization...It took lots of time and more tears. I'm still growing and still learning to find my joy completely in Him...but I always find solace in knowing that this unique level of happiness is attainable.
"When you bask in His love, you experience a wellspring of joy bubbling up in your heart. And since the world didn't give you this joy--the world can't take it away."
What I'm Wearing:
Black Hat: H&M
Coat: H&M
Black Cropped Top: H&M
Pleated Skirt: (I've actually had this for some time so I don't remember!)
Black Pumps: Charles David (via Nordstrom)
Photography by: Melissa C. Olguin | @melcolguin
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