Monday, March 27, 2023

You Deserve More: Let go of the need to prove your worth.

You deserve so much more. You deserve gentleness. You deserve honesty. You deserve kindness and care. You deserve effort. You deserve clarity. You deserve to be thought about deeply, with attention to your details. 

We sometimes engage in situations or with people that communicate an otherwise message. So because we have the awareness that we are deserving of more, a cognitive dissonance of what we are actually experiencing beckons us to stay and help the person or situation recognize our worthiness. We perform. We prove. We wonder. We repeat. 

Let me be honest, they don't need your help. I’ll be the first to tell you (or remind you) that you can let go of the need to please and to prove. Read that again. In trying to win someone over, we compromise our worthiness and trade it in for approval. 

Ironically when we sit in something that goes against our core belief (that yes, we are worthy and yes, we do deserve more), we are not only accepting but also communicating an otherwise message: we do not deserve so much more. 

The longer we accommodate less than, the deeper we drive ourselves into a well of confusion and slowly begin to doubt we should tolerate anything other than “more”. So we tolerate the bare minimum that drives our baseline lower. 

Give yourself permission to separate yourself from situations or people who struggle to accept your worthiness. 

You might not get to decide how people treat you, but you can certainly practice what you tolerate and accept. You get to decide your baseline of treatment.

Because the truth is, no matter what work you put in to perfect, perform, and prove, if someone or something is committed to believing otherwise (often at no fault of your own), your efforts are futile.

Give yourself permission to separate yourself from situations or people who struggle to accept that you are deserving of so much more. Attach yourself to your (true) belief that you are genuinely worthy of reforming thoughtfulness, care, and delicate honesty.

I won’t sit here and tell you that when you begin to do this with dedicated consistency people will automatically fall in place and treat you accordingly. Rather, once you continually attach yourself to your true belief of worthiness, you’ll no longer be tossed into a whirlwind of confusion (between what you believe and what you allow). What you accommodate will align with your beliefs.

So, I’m challenging us to let go of the need to prove our worthiness and release every situation or person who is unwilling to align. 

You no longer have to hustle to receive what you deserve. Rest. Let others put in the work.

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