Saturday, April 8, 2017

Great Expectations (The Quarter-Life Crisis)

Hey, loves!
I've been MIA for a little as I try to recoup from some of the curveballs this season has thrown at me...(otherwise infamously known as the "quarter-life crisis" (QLC)). This is something I've always heard about, but never thought I'd experience myself. I like to think of myself as someone who is driven, in control, and has high expectations. I've always been quite in touch with myself, confident in who I am (and who God says I am), and focused on my goals. Ironically enough, these are the types of people the QLC comes after the hardest. And honestly, it can feel debilitating.

I wanted to share some of the lessons I've learned in my experience. Maybe you're a twenty-something trying to navigate through QLC, depression, or anxiety. Or maybe you're just in an uncomfortable situation. (Read more about what to do in discomfort here).

4 Tips on Getting Through the Quarter-Life Crisis

  • Actions speak louder than words thoughts: In this season your thoughts can become completely distorted...going against everything you've ever believed about yourself. I had a conversation with my dear older sister recently where we tried to figure out how to combat negative thoughts (aside from obvious affirmations). Sometimes this is easier said than done. So what I've tried to do is change my actions so that my thoughts become aligned with whatever behavior I'm engaged. (Rather than allowing my thoughts to influence my behavior). For example, if I'm feeling visionless I'll intentionally pull out my vision board, turn on my laptop, and begin actively working towards my goals. If I'm feeling doubtful of who God says I am, I'll pick up the phone and speak to someone who affirms me/reminds me of my beautiful ideal self. (I'll talk more about this in another bullet point). 
  • Think like Christ, so you can believe like Christ: Okay we're back to thoughts. This is where positive affirmations come into play as well as great expectations. You have to make a conscious effort to see yourself as Christ sees you and to see your future as Christ sees it. (He promises to give us an expected end and He plans to prosper us...God is not tryna play us).  As soon as that negative thought creeps in, reject it and renew your mind instead with what Christ tells you. I always find comfort in knowing that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. But we still need to make that effort to meet him there. I found these verses extremely helpful in renewing my thoughts daily.
  • Surround yourself with people who live a life that reflects your aspirations and (Godly) expectations: This is what I meant by having friends you can call and speak to when you're at your lowest points. Find someone you trust and pray with them often. Read scripture with them and share with them. Get a mentor who can teach you, pour into you, and reaffirm your purpose and your identity in Christ. Sometimes it's just a matter of hearing who God says you are that can build you up.
  • Speak Out: Talk about your experiences and get to the root of the problem so you can get rid of it. Mental health matters but I know not everyone has access to mental health practitioners/Christain therapists. If you fall into this category, again, find some you trust and speak out. Journaling is also a great way of speaking out and releasing thoughts. 

As cliche as this sounds, I am fully expectant that this season of my life will turn into a glorious and victorious testimony. At times I do feel discouraged, but I'm grateful for the community I'm surrounded by and the people who intercede on my behalf. Have faith, no matter how discouraged you feel. Cherish this with me: He who promises is faithful, and it will come to pass. (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

Photography by: Melissa C. Olguin

1 comment

  1. Thanks for sharing this and being so vulnerable. The qlc is REAL, man. Lol. I reeeeally loved what you said about actions speak louder than thoughts and how you DO things to counteract negative thoughts. I find I want to start doing that. I usually will just try and talk myself back to positive thoughts by affirming myself. But actually taking action steps to complete reroute my thoughts is brilliant. Thanks Joy :)


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